NTDL #49: Hyperbolic Syndrome

Get a test back you thought you failed…you passed…with a “B”: “THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”

Drop your phone on the sidewalk…tiny scratch on the screen: “WHY ME! What did I do to deserve this! Worst day ever!”

Didn’t fall asleep until 2am, had to get up at 6: “Oh my GOD, I got ABSOLUTELY NO sleep last night. I have such a long day ahead of me. I might as well give up all faith in humanity now.”

See a cute chubby kid dutty wining on youtube: “That is officially THE FUNNIEST thing I have EVER seen!”

Dear reader,

Have you, or someone you love, ever done any of the above? (ooo that rhymed) If you respond “no”…well then you are in some serious denial my friend. I personally think I do it a lot. But I also know some people who take exaggerations to a whole-notha-level.

I call this strange phenomenon…

“Hyperbolic Syndrome”

There is one symptom…though it is not exactly easily diagnosed because we ALL do it. It becomes more obvious when the listener picks up on the speakers incessant hyperbolic speech…then they can’t stop focusing on it.

Symptom #1 of 1: You can’t seem to make a statement/respond to someone/tell a story without using what academics term as “absolutes”. You speak in a constant exaggeration.

Example: Never, Always, Best, Worst, THE MOST…etc – These terms signify something universally valid…when really MOST of us use it to make an exaggerated claim which technically is not true. That girl’s outfit you just made fun of probably isn’t the biggest tragedy ever. I think some things could elicit more tears and remorse. Just saying.

This being said, exaggerated terms are great. Don’t stop using them. They make conversations and stories fun. BUT they are meant to give an emphasis of opinion and should be used a little more sparingly…maybe? If you emphasize EVERYTHING then you are essentially speaking in constant hyperbole and everything you actually want to focus on will just seem to blend into the mundane stuff you attempt to make exciting all the time.

I was going to end on an ironic note by using an exaggeration, but that would be the most predictable thing ever.



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