Guilty

Do this all the time…or often enough to suggest you do otherwise

NTDL #52: Word-encies

Word Tendencies. Word-encies.

Have you ever realized (during contemplative self-reflection aka showering, walking places, ‘listening’ in class or in a meeting, being solicited on the phone) that people go through “word” phases? You know, times in your life where you have an affinity towards a certain word? And it gets to the point where you over-use it and you suddenly become VERY aware? Or someone else over-uses a word and that’s all you can focus on? Now, I am not saying that everyone does this. But I am saying that maybe not everyone is fully aware of this being a “thing”. Let me give you a few examples.

1. The General Phrase: A phrase you say in response to things on the daily. You get to the point where it is almost an automatic response and it’s over-use might lead the speaker to wonder if you are actually taking-in what they are saying OR you are just giving an automated robotic response (Don’t worry, robots are cool. Your secret is safe with me).

Mine: Right now…I have become far too aware of me saying “actually though” and “hilarious”

2. The Greeting: We go through greeting phases. How you say Hello and How are you?  This goes through phases throughout your life. I will be the case and point.

Mine: I did not always say hello to someone in such eloquent terms as I do now – “Yo” and “Sup” are sadly my greetings of habit currently (I am so very sorry). But, there was a dark time in my life where this greeting was reduced to the word of “Howdy”. Yes. I did not misspell that. Never in my life have I lived anywhere near the south, ridden horses or listened to country music on more than a “by-force” basis. Despite all of this, howdy would come tumbling out as I greeted everyday people. Dark times.

3. The “word that no one else uses but YOU use more than any normal human being should”: For some reason this word is in your vocabulary and you don’t know how or why it got there.

Mine: Qualm. This is my word of the week (hopefully it will not persist). I have somehow managed to integrate it into conversations thrice…I apologize to those who already struggle to understand what I am trying to say on a daily basis. To be totally honest, I think this might be the first time I have ever even typed the word “qualm”. You see…Qualm’s biggest qualm is that people will qualm about using it in anything other than trying to explain a qualm. Now, did that sentence make you feel qualmish?

4. The Copy-Cat Term: The word you picked up by hanging around someone or a group of people way too much and now use their “General Phrase” way more than necessary.

Mine: “Accurate” – thanks to my sister.

On a super random and sort of similar note…have you ever just said or typed a word that you don’t even know the meaning of? I swear I don’t read as much as I should…but honestly…unless I have a dictionary App embedded (punny) into my pillow, I have no other excuse as to why I use some words. Maybe it’s the copious amounts of random blogs and articles I have read over the years (I usually only get half way through…or past the first paragraph…#AttentionProblems) but I refuse to let that be the reason for my inadvertently expanding subconscious vocabulary.

Can anyone relate? Please tell me I am not alone!

NTDL #51 – The “P” Word

The “P” Word

No, I am sad to say this post will not be similar to Sesame Street. I will not dwell on awesome topics that start with “P” like pandas and play-dough.

Also, the “P” word is not referring to a socio-political, racially controversial, or an academic term that starts with a P an ends in “ism” or “ist”.

When I say the “P” word, I am talking about the dreaded term…

“POTENTIAL”

If you have ever been categorized under this before, you know what I mean. Whether it be in the world of sports, work force or academia…this a loaded term.

To have potential is great. We all have it in different areas of our lives. We all especially had it in our youth. Man, “potential”…it was endless! I was in an enrichment class for science in grade 2 and man did I take advantage of that! I am now a 4th year English major who dislikes the use of standard punctuation/sentence structure regulations AND who has very minimal interest surrounding most scientific topics.

I digress.

I just always recall the term “potential” being used on young adults who were past that time in their life where their age was an excuse, and were on their way to being those…disappointments. Not that they are actually disappointments! That isn’t what I am getting at. These people (myself included) who had potential, never asked to be placed in the “potential pot”.

Example Scenario: A tall 12 year old girl (not me, man…wish I had height potential, my genetics decided otherwise. Thanks mom and dad.)

Potential: Wow! She has so much potential in (insert every sport where height is beneficial)!!!

The let down: She tries and tries constantly in athletics. People keep giving her chances because she has potential (although it was her genetic code, not skill, that placed her inadvertently in the athletic potential pot). By the time she is 18, she chooses to not play sports in university because 1. She has a passion for bird watching 2. she has zero coordination which has led her to dislike most sports.

Reaction of others: What a waste of potential. She could have been great. If only she had the work ethic…and skill…and desire…and…etc.

The above is a very general and COMMON scenario.

Anywho. Can anyone relate? Can anyone recall someone who was placed in similar situation?

You see, I had potential to be a model…

But my dreams were derailed by chocolate and biceps.

Photo on 2014-03-04 at 21.41 #3

Photo on 2014-03-04 at 21.35 #2

NTDL #46: The Puddle Jumping Myth

No one ACTUALLY likes puddle jumping. Well…sort of…

Before I get into that rant, let me just get this one thing off my chest:

  • Puddle “jumping” seems to imply you are missing the puddle…and that is not very exciting. You are just being a very aware and practical walker and avoiding getting your feet wet. We should possibly consider re-wording this socially strange phenomenon.

Anyways.

You are probably like “Hold up. I love puddle jumping”…but think about it for a second. You are going out of your way to “jump IN” a pool of water and letting your feet get soaked. It is going to cause you more grief than pleasure really. Now you have to change your boots/shoes (I’m always in shoes…curse you puddle gods), socks and pants. And don’t even get me started on taking off wet clothing…it’s so terrible. (Spandex-wearing people, yah feel me?)

Alright, I’ll admit, I do occasionally like stomping in a puddle BUT I find it more enjoyable telling people about it than actually doing it. It is one of those acts where it makes a great story, but in actuality it was not that eventful. There was puddle. You jumped in it. You soaked the bottom half of your body. Congratulations.

Now sometimes people are in a hyper-type mood and

go crazy and jump in puddle…and that is fun…but let’s debunk this Puddle Jumping Myth once and for all. It is simply a socially acceptable and contained rebellion against the status quo of Puddle Avoiding. Nothing more.

Now…if you REALLY want a good story…stand by a big puddle when a car drives by. OR jump in one while your friend is walking by and they don’t expect it. You usua

lly get more soaked than they do but it is funny…until they hate you of course. Anyways, this is way more entertaining. Way better story. Let’s move on to bigger and better things people. (I was going to write bigger and wetter but my mind is permanently in the gutter…and I am now hysterical writing this actually…)

Okay. Regrouping.

Jump in puddles to your heart’s content people! But go big or go home. Dive in the damn puddle. Don’t just walk through one and go on twitter and be like “OMG I went puddle jumping today. So fun #Yolo #SorryNotSorry #ImSoCray”

Rachael Out

puddlejumper11

Source: http://www.ummaumma.com/2012/06/testing/

NTDL #43: “I’ll Start Tomorrow”

Every. Damn. Day.

I have something everyday that I will “start tomorrow”.

What a terrible terrible terrible habit to have. You know why? Because it leads you to having a Not-To-Do-List. You would be shocked at how long I was going to “start my blog tomorrow”. All of these things “not to do” just building up inside my head…I was bound to get nothing done. BUT despite this very progressively detrimental flaw, I did eventually crawl out from underneath my procrastination rock (it’s a very big rock…more like a boulder) and started this blog.

Irony? I’m writing this post because I’m going to “start studying for my midterm tomorrow”

Common things we are going to “start tomorrow”:

1. A diet – If you have never done this, you are lying to yourself. By diet I mean eating better or less or healthier or…etc.

2. Waking up early – You aren’t going to hit that snooze button…more than 3 times.

3. Working out – You are going to get active today! Especially since you already slipped up on your diet after you slept in and grabbed a doughnut and muffin on your way to work. But then since you are running late you take the elevator instead of the stairs, and by the time you leave work…the only energy you have left is to drive to the drive-thru and grab dinner.

4. A diet – Well since you failed on the diet above, there is always tomorrow. But seeing as there are 3 more hours left in THIS day, might as well eat everything in sight because technically if you eat it NOW you won’t eat it later. (I use this reasoning faaar too often)

5. Studying/ getting lots of work done – You had good intentions. Then you realized your internet connection was super speedy so you decided to watch The Big Bang Theory while browsing Twitter, creeping Facebook photos AND downloading the new Taylor Swift album. 4 hours later…

6. Getting more sleep – You are for sure going to go to bed early tonight! But wait, remember all that stuff you didn’t do earlier? Yeah…it still needs to get done. You’ll get it done tonight and start fresh tomorrow. Don’t sweat it. This is a fool proof plan.

So! In honor of all my “Start Tomorrow” pals, let’s promise each other that we will actually start our goals tomorrow! Even though this is very unlikely, let’s just toy with the prospect of it coming true. Ahh…I’m feeling more optimistic already. I think I’ll celebrate with a PB&J sandwich and starting a new TV series.

Cheers

NTDL #42: The Fundraising Fatty


I have one question.

Who came up with the idea of selling chocolate bars to raise money?

  1. They are a genius
  2. I dislike you a lot

Think about it. A little kid comes up to you and asks you in a soft almost quivering voice: “would you like to buy a chocolate bar? I’m raising money for the homeless shelter”

Okay. Stop right there. I am at a serious disadvantage here. Not only do they have the benefit of that adorable wide-eyed “I’m so innocent and care about people still” look BUT they are also raising money for a good cause! I have no chance, no choice…check mate! Making me question my selflessness while dangling a sugary indulgence in front of me…WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.

In my head – Ohhh surrre, act all innocent. Just standing there, with all your will power and such. That’s cool. Do your thing. Prey on the weak. We’ll both see who the righteous one is come judgement day (not sure when this is…maybe halloween…or my next doctor’s appointment…or my stint on the biggest loser).

Anyways. So much for that diet I never started because I ran into a kid selling candy apples yesterday for the Hurricane Sandy relief efforts. You know what? Why don’t you sell umbrellas! I’d buy one. It would be a win-win. You’d make money AND I would not feel guilty about eating a chocolate bar (though it’s usually plural) that I bought AND I would have an umbrella (I really need one).

Oh! and another thing! Say you were all like:

“I’m not eating junk food for the next week. I’ve eaten terribly lately”.

And then…POOF! This kid approaches YOU!

Wide eyes and all…

Whether it was in front of a grocery store, at a sporting event OR the worst of all…

…your front door.

Well, it must be a sign then! You were not meant to eat healthy. If junk finds YOU, then you are in the clear! It should be “guilt free” because your conscience was in the right place…you gave money to a good cause, and gave sugar to your overly active sweet tooth.

But let’s be honest here. We never really give those kids 2 dollars because we want to support whatever they are doing. We are selfish and want candy.

Nuff said.

NTDL #39: Tell Secrets

Definition of secret:

adjective
not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others
Okay, now that we understand the definition, let’s get this out in the open. If you don’t want ANYONE to know…don’t tell anyone. Don’t write it down, don’t retell, recreate or produce anything that will make a duplicate of this “secret”.

I know I know, it’s hard. But if you genuinely want to keep something on the downlow, your lips have to be sealed. Whenever you tell someone something, you have to know they have that chronic condition called “human nature“. No, there is not a cure…but one of the many symptoms is gossiping and sharing information.

Person 1: “Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

Person 2: “I promise!”

LIES.

All lies.

You know why I know that this is a lie? Because we have all done it. Yes, you have too. Oh you haven’t? Well you should get your Denial checked out.

Anyways, we can’t keep our mouths shut. The thing is, if you need to talk to someone, talk to someone. If you need to let out your angst and emotions etc. talk to someone! Just be okay with the fact that someone else now holds that information and it is at their disposal. That’s life. I have told secrets, heard secrets, kept secrets and confided in others about someone else’s secrets. That’s the nature of the glorious grape vine we call human interaction.

So if you are ever feeling the urge to tell someone something (whether it be yours to tell or not) and you are having reservations about it…when in doubt…

I swear that shit solves everything.

NTDL #31 – Bad Characteristic Association

Sounds complicated. It’s not.

Everyone has been the victim as well as the culprit of B.C.A.

A “bad characteristic association” is when people who don’t know you BUT what to identify you to someone, call upon certain characteristics of your appearance or personality to point you out.

Example 1: “Hey you know that guy in our class? The one who wears those hipster glasses and talks really really loud?”

or

Example 2: “I swear I see that one girl everywhere, you know…the one who cakes on the makeup and wears clothing one size too small?”

Have you guys ever wondered what defining, instantaneous characteristic people use to define you? Whether it’s them seeing you for the first time or whether you are around each other a lot but have never interacted? It is such a fascinating phenomena.

Although this is on my NTDL, it is really something completely out of my control. I guess my ultimate goal will be for people to say a positive reference rather than a negative. I just hope people don’t associate me solely on my often un-brushed hair or sweat pant collection…

BUT if they do, no hard feelings here 🙂 I TRY to embrace my quirks, as should all of you!

It’s okay, you can be jealous of my well-groomed hair.

 

NTDL #26: Escalator vs. Stairs Debate

So you are getting off the subway, off a train, at a mall etc and the destination in which you are heading to now involves you to go…up. So you approach two options.

Option #1: The stairs

Option #2: The escalator

The thing with these two options is that no matter what you choose, both will be in plain site of the viewing public, and more often than not, they are situated beside eachother.

This post was going to originally be me ranting about that ONE person who chooses to take the stairs…but then I realized that person is always me.

So that being said, this is a backwards “Not To-Do” because I am just mocking how obscure the whole situation is.

Person taking stairs:

1. “Well this will just be more excersise for me, it couldn’t hurt!”

2. “This is so much faster than taking the stairs! There is no line or awkward pressure when stepping onto a moving staircase while people behind you are glaring and grunting at you to move faster because they want to be lazy too and use the escalator”

Person on escalator looking at that ONE person taking stairs:

1. “Wow! Full of yourself much? Who do you think you are walking up all those stairs like you got places to be…pshh”

2. “I guess I could have done that for some extra exercise…but I now must abide by the escalator rules and stay put while I am standing on the right side and leave the left side open for people who are in a rush trying to move past me.”

Anyways, my point being…why not take the stairs? But, when it comes to those conveyer belts they have in airports…by all means use those! They are too fun to pass up.

NTDL #25: Try on something you can’t afford

I didn’t want to listen to my friend when he first told me this…but eventually I took his advice.

He told me, “Rachael, you’s a window shopper, Mad at me, I think I know why…Rachael you’s a window shopper, in the jewelery store, looking at shit you can’t buy.”

My first response was, “Yo 50, I don’t buy jewelry! You must have seen my doppelganger (identical twin)…was she pretty?”

And then he was like”Everybody mad when their paper dont stack right, When I come around Rachael you better act right”

Then I was like “You make a good point man, except I’m kinda scared by your last comment…”

Anyways! The point being…

Don’t try on stuff you can’t afford.

1. It’s depressing- not only because you can’t afford it but because when you want something you can’t have you just want it more…and more…and more and that leads to…

2. Caving In – buying it and then being like “oh wow I could not afford that, I guess it’s just me and my oatmeal for dinner for the next few weeks/months/life”

Anyways. Lesson of the day…

You: I neeeeed those shoes!

50 says: “Shit man, the store owner watching you, ‘fore somethin’ get stolen, stolen, stolen”

I’d listen to him. He does have a stack of money in his hand after all…

NTDL #24: Forget your lip chap

One of the top 5 most distracting things…having dry lips.

I swear, when you need lip chap, it just consumes your attention.

No matter how much you lick your lips in attempt to relieve them from their dehydrated state, you just can’t!It just makes it worse…then you look like LL Cool J with your incessant lip licking and then insanity ensues….

Ways to avoid it? Buy 10 things of lip chap…and put them EVERYWHERE. One in your bag, one in your other bag, one in your other other bag, one in every coat pocket, one on your desk, one by your bed, one in the kitchen…maybe even put one in your mailbox (you know, in case you get locked out and your lips get dry waiting for someone to let you in).

Now! Go forth and take preventative measures!

Potential brands to help quench your dry lips:

May you never be burdened with dry lips again.