Street Etiquette

NTDL #38 Bike on the road

No. One. Likes. You.

Walkers: don’t like you because you are getting somewhere faster than them AND they think your helmet looks silly AND if you are wearing a skin tight outfit…they think that looks silly too.

Drivers: don’t like you because…

1.  You are slow

2. They think they are going to hit you

3. No matter how far to the left thye go around you, they still think they are going to hit you

4. And while they are driving around you they imagine themselves hitting you and going to jail because of it

Just so we are clear. Road bikers…we are not friends. I have tried. I really have. This just isn’t working out. Maybe if you didn’t bike in front of me on a busy street or narrow road while it is raining at night I would feel differently…but you still do. I have put in the effort while you cease to change. And you thought I was stubborn? Yeah, look in the mirror my friend (although we were never friends. Anyways,

That’s all I have to say.


NTDL #9: Walk in a group of 3 on a sidewalk

It just doesn’t make sense.

Numerically or specially, groups of three are not a good fit when walking on a public sidewalk (which are all sidewalks…)

Problems that can arise:

1. One person will be in constant struggle to walk beside the other two

2. The “third-wheel” feeling

3. Having to turn your head back to talk to your friend, or have to shout forward so the two in front can hear you…inconvenient

4. The awkward maneuvering of bodies when someone is approaching and passing you from the opposite direction

5. The super awkward maneuvering when you are walking by another group of 3 people

How to never be in this situation?

1. Walk in even numbers – 2 by 2 🙂

2. Be cool like me and walk alone, pretending like you don’t care 😉


3. Band together with your uneven numbered group and force the oncoming pedestrians to play Red Rover with you. They’ll be down to play, I swear.