Pick-Pocket

NTDL #45: Pockets. Friend or Foe?

Like friends, pockets come in all shapes and sizes.

They always seem to be there to lend a helping hand.

But if you think about it, does your pocket want what is best for you? Are they actually always there for you? Or do they pick when the time is the most convenient for them and their busy pocketing schedule?

Digest that pocketing conundrum.

Seriously though, when was the last time you threw something into a pocket and easily found it the next time you went to go find it? I know some of you are thinking I am crazy, but the people who are thinking that are clutter freaks and keep all pockets organized like every other aspect of their lives (I’m bitter because I’m jealous, don’t take it personally).

Pocket Scenarios:

The Clean Pocket: Only time I ever find the pockets of my backpack/coat/purse clean are when…

  1. I have to catch a flight therefore I must check all pockets and empty them of liquids and sharp things – so I obviously end up emptying them completely. 
  2. I get SO fed up with carrying around SO much extra useless stuff that I “might” need, or I needed at some point in the past four months, that I purge everything completely. Bam! Taking control of my life one pocket cleanse at a time.

The Magnetic Pocket:

Scenario – So yesterday and I did a pocket cleanse. 2 days later = pocket-astrophy!! I go to return something at a store and…my head phones are tangled in a pair of earrings which have latched onto my soaking mittens that got my receipt wet that I need at this very instant. Did I mention that there was also a granola bar (I might get hungry), 3 nickels (I swear they are more useless than pennies) and a bobby pin (clutch find) in there as well.

Anyways. This pocket of mine asserts it’s agency in my life through collecting copious amounts of random stuff and wreaking havoc on anything it can get a hold of. Pocket, I hear you loud and clear! Just…maybe once…leave my headphones alone? They aren’t as nimble as they use to be. All those knots are really taking a toll.

The Disappearing Act:

I put my lip balm in my coat pocket five minutes ago. You ask if you can borrow it. I say no problem. My pocket disagrees. I look through my pocket…no lip balm. I look through it again…no lip balm. I empty out everything from that pocket…still nothing. I look in the other pocket and empty it…nothing. I go back to the original pocket…TA-DAHHH!!!! Magically appeared. Wow. There goes five minutes of my life.

Money Pocket:

You put on a pair of pants that you wore last week OR bring out your winter jacket that you haven’t worn in 8 months…reach in your pocket and…MONEY! I swear, no matter what happened to you the rest of the day, your spirits were definitely lifted. I think the luckiest I have been was finding $50. That find might have been followed by me sing/rapping “Make It Rain” because $50 puts me in the “not broke for the next 20 minutes” financial bracket.

“Who Needs a Wallet/Purse” Pocket:

Pant pockets (for girls) are very susceptible to having things fall out of them. We (mainly me) never learn. Going to the bars, running errands, just walking around in general – you need a convenient place to put your stuff. Debit, cash, ID, phone, top secret documents = jeans or hoodie pocket. I would include shirt pockets but those are only good for pens and pocket squares/handkerchiefs and I’m not in that phase of my life yet where I am in constant need of a pen and pocket square.

There is a Pocket in my Pocket Dear Liza, Dear Liza:

This is next level. Mainly found in winter jackets. Inside your pocket…there is ANOTHER pocket. This is useful for hiding things. But first of all, why are you hiding anything in your coat? This is also super dangerous for losing things. If it’s a magnetic/disappearing pocket…you are out numbered my friend. The pocket WILL win.

Lint Pocket:

There is nothing in your pocket except lint. You might think that “pocket lint” is a ancient pocket-myth but noooo. Those pieces of lint are alive and well and living in a very neglected pocket of yours.

Pick-Pocket:

A very vulnerable pocket. It somehow is always left unzipped or exposed. This could be a pocket on a pair of tight jeans or just the small pocket on your back pack you always forget to zip-up. Play safe, double check.

Prick-Pocket:

Putting something sharp in your pocket and forgetting. Maybe this is just me. I recommend…not putting scissors, tweezers, safety pins, nail clippers…in any kind of pocket. A lesson from me to you. Your hands will thank you later.

Okay. I had way more to say about pockets than I thought. Unofficial Not-To-Do: allow pocket range to stay suppressed for this long. I feel so relieved now. Anyways,

Have a great day!

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