Walk of shame

NTDL #47: The Shamefully Unshameful Walk-Of-Shame

Scenario: It’s 10 am and you are walking home in one of the following outfits:

1. High heels and the dress, skirt or super classy outfit you wore last night

2. Sweat pants and sweat shirt with heels in hand (minus heels if a guy)

3. Combination of any of the above plus unwashed face and a but of a stagger in your step

4. Hair that looks like it once looked nice

We’ve all been there. We’ve all walked that.

I have witnessed them all. Girls with their head held high because they are trying to pretend that they are going for an abnormally early stroll in stilettos (calf workout right?). Or their head held low because if they don’t make eye contact with you then you can’t seem them…right?

Love the logic. Anyways…

What is worse than the above? When your casual walk in the early morning is misinterpreted as a Walk-Of-Shame. Let’s be honest. I’d rather actually be walking a Walk-Of-Shame than be just walking and people thinking I had a “long” night. It’s a lose-lose! No one wants a Shamefully-Unshameful-Walk-Of Shame (too much?) Not only did you not have a crazy fun night…but people are assuming you did which makes you feel worse because if people are going to assume those things you’d rather them be accurate! So on-lookers are judging you despite your well-intentioned “I’m going to go to bed early and wake up and get a coffee while everyone else is hung over tra-la-la”. Like…really?!

It’s the gods of social mockery emphasizing how lame you are.

Case and point:

Walking to the gym on a beauty Sunday morning in what now seems like a questionable clothing choice: Over-sized sweat pants, teal running shoes, bright yellow t-shirt (obviously over-sized too…) and a messy pony tail to top it all off. I walk by a house where 4 guys are sitting on the front porch (probably have been there all night) and they start chanting at me “Walk-of-shame! Walk-of-shame!” How does one refute that? I had 2 choices…

1: “Umm excuse me, no. I’m a very classy young lady and am just innocently walking to the gym because I was lame and stayed in last night thank you very much.”

or

2: Walk by. Hold head high. Laugh and keep on moving.

I chose the second option…but what would you do?

How many times have we seen someone and just assumed? It’s weird but people do wake up before 10 on Sundays (not just because they are trying to get away with something that isn’t really that bad because what are you “getting away with” really?) People will judge you for every and anything you do anyways!

I say, embrace the stare. Work those presumptions.

walk-of-shame